Community Resource Project

The Teacher’s Role

in Supporting Divorced Parents & Their Children

As teachers, there are four key elements that can help us to effectively work with families who are going through a divorce: Approach, Attitude, Atmosphere and Action.

When we know that a family is going through a divorce we need to approach the situation by seeking and finding as much information about the individual family’s situation as possible.  For example, will there be shared custody with the child living at home for part of the week and another for the remainder of the week?  Are stepparents involved?  Know if friends or extended family might be taking on new roles and what those roles might be and how it could affect your role as a teacher and the child in the classroom.  It is essential to build a solid two-way communication system and understand the best way to communicate with each parent.  Teachers must appreciate and accept that now that there are two households for one child, they must work with each parent to establish new ways to communicate that works for the two different households.

It is not our role as teachers to enter the situation with preconceived notions or strong attitudes about the family’s situation.  We must learn to set aside our own experience or feelings about divorce and work with each family knowing that everyone’s situation and experience is different.  If a teacher has had a negative experience, perhaps with their own divorce or family member's, they cannot assume that this is always the case.  In fact, it is now more common for parents to work together to create reassuring and loving environments for their children regardless of divorce.  By keeping a positive attitude, the teacher can only help reassure a child that things at school will not change.

An essential part of supporting divorced parents and their children is by creating an atmosphere that welcomes all types of families and encourages involvement of all adults that play an important role in the child’s life.  One of the primary ways in creating such a welcoming atmosphere is through open communication.  This includes communicating with both parents.  In the case where a child lives with the same parent during the school week, be sure to welcome and include the other parent.  Invite them to participate in field trips, class activities and programs.  Teachers must be sensitive to family diversity.  Be flexible to the fact that sometimes, divorced parents may want to make arrangements such as different conference times or that when making a call home to a parent about an issue, you should probably call both parents.  Obviously, it is always essential to remember that every circumstance is different and the teacher needs to understand any legal issues like court orders.

Finally, as teachers, the best action we can take is to offer parents as many resources and as much support as we can to help them get through a difficult time.  We must be encouraging and supportive and most of all understanding and patient.  By working with each family, we can only help to ensure the children that he/she can rely on the adults in his/her life to support them in school and at home.